Adventures in Sunday School

Me (To girls at coloring table): Are you going to wear green on St. Patricks Day?
Girls: Yeah!
Me: What will you wear?
Girls: (all at the same time) I don't know... I have a green sweater... I love my green shoes!..
Me: (I point to girl wearing a green bead necklace) You could wear your green beads!
Girl: Uh, you cannot wear green beans. You EAT green beans.

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Me (to small group after the lesson): What did we learn about God in today's lesson?
Boy: James Bond!
Girl: This is boring and stupid.
Me: Um, ok. (Looks at girl) Let's not have a bad attitude, ok?
Girl: Shut up. Don't touch me!
Me: Do you talk to your parents like that?
Girl: No.
Me: Then you shouldn't talk to me like that either.

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When the kids are leaving, it is a chaotic mess of grabbing crafts and coats from the cubby area. I am helping them find their belongings while the parents are waiting. One girl points to a jacket and says, "Oh, how long has this been here? I lost this coat awhile ago." I say, "well, I'm glad you found it". She puts it on and leaves. A few minutes later another girl is looking for HER coat. She says, "it was right there"... and points to the cubby where the jacket was taken from by the other girl. Her mom describes it perfectly. Crap! I totally helped a 5 year-old steal someone elses jacket. Fortunately, the mom was very understanding. The coat thief must have been confused. But what parents let their kid walk out WEARING a coat that doesn't belong to them... IN CHURCH! Geez.